Men are like vacations....
they never seem to be long enough.

Men are like computers...
hard to figure out and never have enough memory.

Men are like coolers...
load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.

Men are like chocolate bars...
sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.

Men are like coffee....
The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night.

Men are like horoscopes....
they always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

Men are like plungers...
they spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom.

Men are like cement....
after getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.

Men are like laxatives.....
They irritate the shit out of you.

Men are like parking spots.....
The good ones are already taken and what's left is handicapped.

A man is like a snowstorm....
you never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long he will last.

What should you give a man who has everything?
A woman to show him how to work it.

How does a man show he's planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that make dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, emit foul odors and don't work half the time.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

What's the difference between men and government bonds?
Bonds mature.

How do you save a man from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
We don't know, it's never happened.

Why are men like tile floors ?
If you lay 'em properly the first time you can walk all over 'em for years.

What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.

Why is it hard for women to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends

CHERi

Well everyone in case it hasnt occured to you, its gettting close to Valentines day! Have you found your sweetheart? Or if you already have one, remember to make him/her special on Feburay 14th. Love is in the air so enjoy and explore with your sweetheart. Be it husband, wife, girlfriend, or boyfriend or even more than one (SMILE) just make sure you do something special. It doesnt have to be expensive, it doesnt have to impress the rest of the world, as long as your loved one is happy thats what counts. Sometimes honesty is the one best thing you can share.
Oh but dont forget the kisses and the hugs (a card, box of candy or flowers wouldnt hurt either) maybe even a lovely piece of jewelry? hhmmmmmm Ahh yes I also know that certain lacy items always help earn points *wink*

Have fun, live a little, life is short.........

LOVE..CHERi

To determine YOUR personality, check the gift you'd most like to get:

1. Candy
2. Flowers
3. A sweet poem
4. Dinner/Dancing
5. Waffle iron

If you answered...

1. CANDY
It means that... You are a sweet person who enjoys traditional gifts and hopefully likes to share... OR you're a selfish chocoholic who values a sugar high over everything even true love.

If you answered...

2. FLOWERS
It means that... You love the beauty of nature, the scent of flowers and appreciate this timeless romantic gesture... OR you get some twisted joy out of watching vegetation wither and die.

If you answered...

3. A SWEET POEM It means that... You're a hopeless romantic, a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the written word... OR you're used to cheap gifts and like to pass yourself off as a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the written word.

If you answered...

4. DINNER/DANCING
It means that... You enjoy the company of that special someone and the romantic setting of fine cuisine and candlelight... OR you're easy to please and probably willing to sell your body for food and a few quick turns around the dance floor.

If you answered...

5. WAFFLE IRON
It means that... You're a practical person who believes in gifts that you can actually use... OR you have absolutely no idea of what gift-giving is all about and probably have some sort of deviant sexual fetish involving kitchen appliances.